If you feel your anxiety rise when you are in a social setting, you are not alone. Social anxiety is a type of anxiety disorder that causes extreme fear in social settings. This feeling might make you feel highly self-conscious, which can cause a heightened feeling of stress when you are trying to socialize. In an article provided by Psychology Today, Loren Soeiro, Ph.D. ABPP discusses ways to overcome social anxiety.
Understanding social anxiety is important. This feeling arises when you feel as though attention is being drawn to your perceived flaws. It is a magnified perception of your insecurities regarding your appearance or your personality. You might constantly be feeling like your worst habits are about to be discovered by others, causing feelings of stress and anxiety to rise. These feelings might naturally make you want to escape and isolate yourself, but giving in to this urge will not be beneficial.
Coping skills to manage your social anxiety is great to seek out and learn. Make sure to identify the thoughts and expectations that might trigger your feelings of stress and shame. Ask yourself rhetorical questions, such as what exact circumstances are you most afraid of in a social situation? Who, exactly, do you think will judge you? What are you afraid they will say?
Once you’ve identified your triggers, you might be able to come up with a strategy to manage social experiences in a way that will bring you significantly less stress. Talk yourself through it in a compassionate and understanding way. Identify your avoidant tendencies, such as going on your phone, or helping clean up to avoid speaking to anyone. If you find yourself adopting these strategies, remind yourself that you are blocking yourself from growing. Note that clinical research has shown that being open about your flaws encourages other people to like you, not to laugh at you.
Before you dive into a social situation that is making you anxious, remember that these interactions are typically not nearly as challenging or dangerous as you’ve convinced yourself they will be. This mindset ultimately comes back to putting immense pressure on yourself and holding yourself to an unrealistic standard. Being a perfectionist to the point that you are hyper-critical of your personality is not healthy. Give yourself the room to make mistakes in social interactions without judgment. Awkward encounters happen. Do your best to relax, enjoy the moment, and be yourself.