If you are an anxious person, feeling out of control of your situation could be something that causes you excess stress. You might constantly be seeking ways to be in control of every scenario you are in in order to feel calmer. This mindset is not healthy, and it’s also unrealistic to expect this whenever you feel yourself fall into a spiral of anxiety. Shifting your mindset regarding this issue is crucial when you are working on lowering your levels of anxiety.
Instead of grasping for control of the situation you are in, remind yourself that you are only in control of your own response. You simply can’t control other people's responses, but how you proceed is your own choice. It is an impulse to blame others for the negative ways you might be feeling, but you can’t control the stress others put in your life.
Try focusing on your own behaviors instead of other people’s responses. By putting the control back on yourself, you now have power over your own healing process. If you’re focusing your attention on others, you are draining your energy and putting an excess strain on your mental health.
Focusing on yourself will improve every relationship in your life. It might be scary taking the time to learn more about yourself and your own reactions, but this process will cause a positive shift in your relationships. Liking yourself, and understanding yourself, allows room for healthier relationships. When you are happy with yourself, you can analyze your relationships and decide who is beneficial for your mental health, and who is not.
You only have control over yourself, not over the world or every circumstance you find yourself in. So many instances in your life are outside of your control, such as your parents, the area you are from, and your socioeconomic background. As you grow, remember that working through trauma is important in order to accept your circumstances and learn how to proceed in a healthy way.
A lot of your anxiety might stem from wishing things were different instead of being grateful for what you have. Do not confuse this with forcing toxic positivity. Shifting your mindset away from negativity should come naturally from focusing on yourself, as opposed to focusing on others. Still allow yourself to feel however you need to feel, while also working to consciously be grateful and not allowing the actions of others to deeply hinder your mental health.
When you find yourself in a situation that is provoking your anxiety, ask yourself “How can I make this situation better for myself?” This is incredibly different than asking yourself “How do I get this person to stop stressing me out?” The solution is within yourself, not other people. This can be an overwhelming concept initially, but it should also feel empowering. You’re in control of yourself, and this reminder allows you to have your power back.