Setting boundaries is key for every relationship in your life. Without them, you might easily find yourself getting burnt out, spending more money than you have, or engaging in arguments with loved ones. Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. provides an article via Psychology Today where she shares the importance of creating boundaries in your life.
There are many different types of boundaries. Financial boundaries might include letting your friend know that you don’t have the money to go out to lunch, so you can’t make the plans they’ve laid out. Physical boundaries can include you requesting that someone does not get so close to you. Ethical boundaries might include you letting your sibling know that you are not comfortable lying for them, so therefore you won't do it.
Communication is key when you are establishing boundaries with those around you. Others will not know your comfort levels in situations if you are not directly telling them. It might feel scary to be direct with your needs, but allowing your feelings to go unnoticed will be taxing on your mental health. Remind yourself that it is not impolite to let those surrounding you know your boundaries.
This concept might take practice. Determining your personal boundaries should take self-reflection and time. It might be helpful for you to step outside of a situation and really analyze the best way to communicate in the future. When you’re ready to share, the following “I-statements” can be helpful to remember:
I have a problem when...
I really don’t want to...
I really do not have time for...
I need you to…
I actually do mind if or when...
This is hard for me to say, but...
I feel uncomfortable with…
It’s important to me that…
Clear and precise sentiments are incredibly important. The aforementioned statements allow you to take ownership of your needs without sending someone on the defensive or offensive. There is nothing wrong with creating firm boundaries, and allowing others to understand this information about you creates overall healthier relationships. Be aware of those who do not regard your needs, because those relationships are not beneficial to keep in your life. Creating boundaries is crucial for your mental space, and for your connections with others.